11 October 2017

A little story: I was inking and colouring this at #dundassquare and my fingers were freezing. A very random stranger approached me to talk while I was sketching. "Oh I like anime! I used to watch it as a kid". I had neither the weed nor sex he was interested in (I replied with a polite "LOL sorry dude") he was not pushy after that, and just spoke his mind, he seemed kind regardless, and his talk was creative, between dirty and poetic (I found it hilarious). I listened to him like I got access to a random slice-of-life podcast and a chance to interview a stranger. He had no filter, everything he thought he seemed to say, and his answers were unique. "Where are you from?" I asked. "Hell. I'm still there." He replied, and laughing bitterly complained about how difficult women are and how tired he is of life. He left at some point "Sorry gotta keep searching for what I need", but came back shortly after, angry, swearing and complaining about how a girl had reacted to his proposal, and then letting out suicidal ideas. He talked a tad longer, "jeez I feel bad for the people who do anime, if it's taking you this long to finish that and they have to make thousands of these, poor guys" and I told him he was right and how hard it is for them and the passion you gotta have to do it with a crazy low pay... when he saw I started gathering my stuff and putting it into my backpack, he rushed to leave, and said "I feel people are running away from me if they leave first... I don't like that so I leave first." I wished him good luck and waved goodbye. ... I biked home feeling I had talked to a cartoon. I can see a lot of people finding this kind of person creepy, but I felt safe. Some people get close and that's when I feel uncomfortable, but when they keep personal space, it's ok. It's always fun to sketch outside :) #inktober 10th prior to colouring. #ink #fish #fashion #dress #bag #feathers #sketch #doodle

#inktober 10th - Conflicted Fish Fashion I experimented with the gold paint, but I don't like that as an illustration it doesn't work because the centre of attention isn't clear. I was also running low on ink #ohno #fish #fashion #watercolours #ink

23 September 2017

On #happiness (Note to self/May be boring!) I used to hate this colour when I was younger. I connected pink with "being a woman is to be weak/less/physically-pretty-but-empty-inside"... And I didn't like that! so I grew up refusing those ideas. The kindness I sometimes take for granted here is not guaranteed in every society, certainly not the one I grew up in, aside from my immediate family and a small circle of friends. I am a woman, but only because of the sexual organs I was born with. Besides that, I can do ANYTHING! I could feel like a man, and my sexual preferences could be anything too. What makes me human/happy is the kindness I treat myself and others with, what gives me confidence is how hard I work and how much I love what I do, and that with some luck can make me successful. Don't ever limit yourself. If the reason for having to take or withstand abuse, or to not do something you want to do, is because of your gender/identity/preferences/appearance... GO DO IT. Or get out of that abusive situation! everyone, including you, deserves to be happy, and no one but you can make it happen! :) I wear all colours now, I surrounded myself of people I love, with whom I share values and communicate efficiently with (no freak-outs, serious when needed be, clear, quiet, but FUN most of the time! :D), we all work hard, there is no unnecessary drama (venting is one thing, not having the courage to fix a problem is another) and I do the changes I need in my life to be happy (enough exercise, enough lazy days, enough healthy food, enough junk food too, sometimes this involves therapy too, not ashamed of that! I have had to deal with illnesses, depression, low self esteem, brain-looped on bad thoughts/chemicals and buried traumas... I probs still have to unbury things but it's a lifetime work in progress) but it's good to always remember that it starts inside me, it starts within, I love me first, then I get what I think I deserve (and it is good stuff because I love me), then I have a lot of love left to spread. And have a sense of humor (mine is overly silly, sorry not sorry!) because "A day without laughter is a wasted day".